What a day

Today soccer was bullshit. we played a bullshit team and won 5-1. but we also play like crap. I lost all hope in our team. We have many talented players but none of them want to imrpove like i do. To make the gold team i have to make it there myself. Got to my D dogs party and it was fun. But that one girl decided to leave us for some guys she likes. She ditched us and d dogs party for some jap fag. I'm beggining to hate myself and my heart can't take anymore strain from her bullshit. i hate to admit it but shes killing me. Shes hacking away at the connection between my heart and brain. Im left confused without any knowledge of what i should do. I hate my inability to imrpove both mentally in physically in soccer and this girl. I can't move up in the ranks if i cant do simple stuff. I hate my life i hate this town. i hate emotions.. If i could go emotionless for the rest of my life i would do that. our world is coming to an end, and end that only we can stop but we wont. I know for a fact our lives are worthless in the grand scheme of things. Wther i beleive in god or not. God has nothing to do with the pain i feel day to day.