Fastbreak, awake,

I couldn't really finish the last blog because my keyboard was freaking out. I guess Lia thinks i have changed a lot. I really have, but thats only the make up on the mask. My morals and ideas submerge when i'm not around people i can trust as much. Which brings me to the conclusion that I can be as elusive as the spongey make up and lies she puts on her face. It's a very cruel thing to say, but Lia knows nothing of me. I know nothing of her. All i can do is assume the worst so the reality of her decisions arent as bad. I lower my bar for her so i don't feel so bad when she decides to "love" this new guy. So when i hear all this stories " oh they made out" or " theyre so cute" I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW ANYONE HOW MUCH IT HURTS. I fancy the idea that I am worth at least something.But really nobody should be anything, i have a feeling that whatever karma has in store for me. Good or Bad. I will need it, more than anyone including myself could understand. what a good morning for another "great" day. ( visions of a feeling, the essence of what i once had floats inside my head till death do us part) i am who i want to be.