A finding

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

--Probably one of my favorite songs. this is just a snippet of the full song. just felt like sharing is all.

Now for the day.

I found myself wondering among people just going through the motions feeling nothing. I was dead tired but i was also pressured, by the very feelings i can't show. Today wasnt a bad day though. i was just very tired. My class with this person was great, i love to see that bright smile. Her eyes seem to look straight through me, those eyes calm me. Nella on the other hand (new name for old Lia) was the same, i look at her soft face and remember the past, remebering the past helps nothing. I relized as much as we continue to grow, our basic entities thrive only around those we care for most. My true person is shown around her and my close friends ( maybe even this girl i danced with. But i just haven't shown nella this real me because i have no reason too. Either way it wouldn't matter because whatever action i take wont mean anything. Even if nella said " i like you because it's you" i dont know if i could beleive that. Im past words and texts. I want to see it in person, i want to feel it. I understand that some people reading this are like. wth? who is this guy? this sorry sack of flesh that your reading of can be considered a part of the real Tai. I readily unleash myself to the world and this place is one of the only ways i can continue to keep in track of my emotions. Aside from the typing advancements an online diary, and friends, i am here soley for myself. to Releive myself of every day stresses that nobody would want to listen to. I find, on the contrary, that maybe someone would like too listen out there. If thats the case someone out there has to feel me in some way. I will continue on my own story, maybe if I AM( I REPEAT, I AM) lucky, you will take part in it.