Today is the day

Home coming day. i have a soccer game in a bit and i have one tomorrow at nine. I wish i didnt have a game sunday but i guess thats how it is. Tonight is probably going to be a wierd night, i want to make this funnest night as possible. im not going to be an idiot and pop pills or do drugs and drink, like some people i know. I'm going to have fun on my time without the bullcrap. I guess im just worried that if i see her with him i won't be able to control myself. Hopefully that isnt the case. I know that one of most beautiful girls known to man promised me three dances :). I kind of wish i had a date, but i made the decision on going stag. I realize that a lot of things in life have a positive and negative, even if it seems good all around. If you gain money you are likely going to use it. If you have a gf you will lose her. If get straight A's, you will have had to sacrifice something to get them. If you go to church you may be praying to something that doesnt exist. Thats what i feel like right now. i feel half and half about tonight. Maybe i'm just overthinking everything. But sometimes the only thing you can do is assume things when the person you care ffor most has stripped you of most of your self-confidence. When she leaves you and the only thing you feel is pain and anger. The loss of control you get when she turns around and calls youa bitch because you just had to say something stupid to her friend. I really can't help it. She unknowingly chips away at my shoulders; i know shell never realize how much it hurts. but thats only whats flowing in my head at the moment. Tonight will be a goodnight just like that annoying song. just another morning --Tai