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I'm such a fucking idiot. What school would except a 3.0 GPA. I Got lazy, and restless. I thought i could withstand the stress of the serious famiyl problems I don't talk or type about in this little blog of mine. I Let everything get to me, what i don't have, what i want to have, the fact that i can never staisfy my hunger to get better (when can i just be happy with myself). Truthfully, for the longest time, Julia has been holding me back too. It's not that she herself was doing it, in fact really i should be blaming myself, she just happens to be the face that comes to mind when I'm just thinking. Or the name i almost write when writing my name on the top right hand corner of my class assignments.

Not only do i have a horribly fucking low GPA i continue to just disgust myself. I'm not acceling in soccer, i'm not as good as i want to be, Brandon got better by himself. Why can't I? It's only natural that i'm mad at myself for failing at my goal, but i'm afraid even if i do good on this next semester i won;t please myself. I mean theres a chance that if i kick my ass Second semester and get that 4.1 I will actually feel good. But knowing how i think, i always want to be that much better, If i get a 4.1 i would say something like " i should of taken more honrs and AP classes".

I'm really stressed out. This break i should take the time and focus on family. The people who will call back when i call them. Ask if im feeling well. Carry me when im falling like now, and love me when i love them. I'll take this break and use up every second and squeeze time until break ends. So when i'm back at school. I'm prepeared to take on a harder new year, and achieve and reach that goal. So i won't slack and get anything below a 4.0. I'm such an idiot. Well thats what i feel like. I will also take this break, to get over her and move on, Actually try this time. Pain is indeed inevitable, as are mistakes. But the misery and the learning only comes from me. To end my pain i have to get over her, over someone who doesn't even have feelings for me, someone im too attached too. I must learn from my mistakes and take what i learned and apply it to the real world. Use my resources more, study , sleep , eat , work out, stay in shape, go kick the ball, talk To " Young Uh" ( new nickname nobody will know) maybe go to the movies with her, Do my laundry, Live Love . and more importantly 212.

To all those i have treated unfairly. Cruel. I am a jerk. And i do recognize that i am mean. Infact out of everyone im Sorry Christain, you always put up with me. Allison C. , ehh your not so bad anymore forgive me. Julia: i guess everything in a sense is my fault, i know not all of it is, but i have been contiously mean to you only thinking of how i feel, I guess in a way i think like you sometimes. Daniela: we havent hung out in awhile, im still mean to you, but im a jerk and your a jerkl back thats how we role ahah.TTAD: For leaving you guys, forgetting who my friends are. Mom and Dad for not appreciating you enough. For all the new friends i've been born into, Kevin, Nick, Ari , Gaby, Ann, Brett, Peter (once again), Patrick, Matt, Kameron, ( THE WHOLE DAMM H.A.C.) and Alan, Greg, Aman, Vincent, Rissa, Convey, Miggy (COME BACK). You guys are hell of funny, and i promise to treat you guys good as long as were hanging out. and you guys stop leaving me at lunch and pizza pirate!


This break is the starting point for a hopefull new and improved Tai Aczon. New years Resolutions are going to be met this new year.

In my head there are thoughts, ideas, plans. On my bones there are tools, ready to carry out those ideas. Inside me, past my heart and into my true being, the one only seen by those who know me best, Is the man I'm going to be. The man that doesn't need to be explained to anyone because through the actions he takes people know him. They see him and see the good in him.He's not perfect. He's a leader. A man ready to take on challenges like he used to. I lost that man amidst all the stress and turmoil. I'm going to bring him back.

Tai Aczon IS coming BACK.