It's been awhile since i last posted anything. Break is officially over and in less then half an hour its going to be another dreaded monday with school. Break was alright, i mean i worked out hard for a couple of days took my lazy days for thanksgiving. then worked out hard after wards, I babysat till wednesday, so that killed a lot of my fun. Basically my thanksgiving break was not fun at all, the only fun i had was really when i was just outside kicking the ball around by myself. ALONE. Or when i kicked it with greg or something.
The first sunday of break i went with greg and we were suppose to go to some cracken party. Well we didn't have a ride and basically one of those bafoons called julia fucking hammilton and dumb ass allison caretta. I didn't want to go to the party by myself because my friends bailed on the whole plan and wanted to hang out with this to little girls. I kinda felt out of place really, i didn't feel any comfort around those two at all during the whole not of there idiocracy (if thats even a word). Eventually we came back to gregs where they started to leave. All of a sudden julia backed up and i found myself smashed up on greg, the thing was he was pushing back. WAIT no, allisons car was directly behind julia and greg and i were getting crushed between to cars. all i remember after that was hearing a couple cracks a snap, then a loud as pop. I jumped out as julia pulled forward and found greg on the ground behind me. My ribs hurt so bad and allisons car had a dent from where gregs leg was. the pressure between us and her car left a dent. It turned out gregs leg hip popped later that night a couple times and my ribs were messed. WE missed the damn party and julia left because she didn;t want to get in damn trouble. "Tai im genuinley sorry blah blah blah blah blah blah blah because i wouldnt have got grounded blah blah im worried about you". If you would had confronted me face to face i would have nearly broken my male code to not hurt women. your the first and only girl to ever make me that angry. i hate you the most out of everyone in this hell fired planet. IF i hurt u in any way i would of been on my hands an knees begging u to be o.k. forget being grounded. I'd stay by my friends side until i knew they were ok. Its a week later and i still feel a slight pain in my side but it's fading away. whatever the hell it was it's fading away.
ACtually makes me angry to think about it so i'll tralk about when i was suppose to go to the mall with some buds but the forgot me. waited outside for an hour straight and they called and told me they got on the freeway and forgot me. fuck you guys, didn't even come back for me. next time ill forget you. Like i said this break was not cracken for the next few days i just wandered around going out for jogs and lifting wieghts, kicking the ball up against my garage. little touch drills.
I'm really tired of finding myself in situations that i could have avoided, but it just seems like they're out there looking for me. I can't bring myself to do anything to tell someone what i'd like to so i just avoid that also. I don;t see what i;m doing really anymore. Only thing i know im doing is playing wiith the soccer ball. Grades and everything else is becoming a blur and it's not helping. this break was suppose to be a refresher from everyday school life and it was in a way. But it was just another boring little excursion that is probably unnecesary for most americans extremely sedentary lifestyles. time to continue to pick up the pace and study hard for finals. i need at lease a 3.9 but id like a 4.1 GPA. im not an idiot ive just been lazy with homework...
Im getting really tired. I don;t have the time to write out everything because im not giving myself the time too. i really dislike the things going on right now, but ill have to continue to shove it up my ass and move on. Because i dont know of any or rather, i don't feel like i can trust anyone with all my feelings. I don't feel like being ridiculed for thinking anything at any given time. In the heart of all things, finding myself is part of growing up, i know ive found who i am, but..have other people found the real Tai, the one covered by dumb pink shoes and a blue giants hat?
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