tired

Lately things have been alright for me. Saying im happy would be lieing to myself. So ill tell the truth and say that i dont feel like im here. I don't feel like im around when im actually there. I have fun when im around but at the end of the day it seems like some things were for nothing. But what makes me happy in any case, is to see that things are slowly looking up in every downer. I'm part of a new "crew" of real people. I'm not saying my old friends are boring or stupid, im just saying it's good to know i got some friends who i can just sit down and kick it with. Many Miggy, i really do wish you were here now. I mean i guess im the newcomer to you guys, but i remember how everyone used to talk about your great memories and i was always envious that they had a friend like you, and they were your friends too. Your not some fake person who goes around talking crap because of there insecurities. No your that guys who's just down to chill, and " get some bitches" ahaha. Even though we werent hella tight until later i feel like there was never a time i didnt know you, i guess i wasnt born in that time period though. lol i was just another nappy headed halfican to you until now.

I dont have a lot of memories with you guys because I never thought i could be a part of who you guys are. Ahah i always that i was a loser, but i guess things changed. Things aren't really as negative as it seems and i like that fact that we can just come together and still have fun. Even if our Hydrogen bond is a little loose, it's good to know that things are looking a little better. Once you get back Miggy things shouldn't be too different, but you never know until you do. Hopefully by the time you do get back youll be a little buffer so i wont beat the crap out of you when we wrestle.. jk XD. Actually i won't even have to fight you becaues ill just get my ghetto black cousin Minoso (thats his real name) to shoot you. But thats going to far.

When it gets down to it nothing really has changed, Highschool is still completely and utterly boring, Benicia cops have no lives, ( i got the cops called on me for standing on a public bathroom roof for a minute), white people are still dominating Benicia, and people are still killing people. I don't expect anything spectacular to happen because good stuff happens when u least expect it.

I guess i just need to realize the truth in a lot of things, and hopefully ill find that answer so i can find that happiness too. But im hella tired and i can barely type so im going to sleep. night